Another day of ups and downs. Woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach having no clue what the doctors decision would be if we would be able to make our flight tomorrow or not. This morning after arriving we learned that she had a stable night and has been stable throughout the morning.
The opthamologist came and said he was happy with the results of her laser surgery and will come back to look at her eyes again in five days from now if we can't return to the States.
Around 9:00 a.m. they did a lumbar puncture to remove 10 ml of CSF fluid to help relieve some of her intracranial pressure and also to evaluate how well she is responding to her antibiotics. The team of one doctor and two nurses who would be traveling to the States with us came to look at her around noon and told us based on her vital signs that they think everything is a go. They said they just needed to evaluate the results of the CSF fluid. So, about one hour later they returned with the results with a concerned look on their faces. Apparently the glucose level was very low, and protein was higher than it should be. They didn't think she was fit to fly. They said they would consult with the infectious disease specialists to get a final opinion.
The team of infectious disease specialists said they were concerned about us not having a ventilator onboard the aircraft in the case of Olive having continued apnea. They also worry that if the meningitis continues to progress that she will start having more frequent seizures. They told us that meningitis can cause deafness, severe developmental problems, as well as seizure issues in SOME cases. Not very comforting news to hear.
So...all of the doctors involved in Olive's case are telling us she cannot fly. We had our hopes up so high to have Olive at such a great hospital, and to be near family and friends as we continue walking through this journey. All the details had come together for the flight home after so many e-mails and phone calls of coordinating.
So here we are...lots of tears today, anger, and disappointment.
Today I'm feeling angry at God, and wondering why there continues to be more and more bad news. I can see lots of ugly places in myself too in all of this. I want to be grateful for the good things He is doing...like the positive report on Olive's eyes, and the simple fact that we are included in the small percentage of people in this world to have access to this level of healthcare.
I do miss my close friends that could just sit down beside me and grumble with me.
love to all of you...
Lynette
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16 comments:
We will continue to pray for you and precious Olive! I trust that God will bring her home in His time.
So sorry, Lynette. :( Wow, there is just absolutely NOTHING predictable or routine in this Olive journey. I wish I could slide down the wall beside you and grumble away... Praying regardless!!!!!!
My prayers and thoughts are with all. The six of us will continue praying for you all. God has a plan; His plan is perfect and all in HIS time. God loves you, is holding you, and will continue to hold you all always!
Appreciating your transparency Lynette! And we are right there with you in frustration, tears, thoughts and spirit.
We'll pray all of you thru, what we humanly are viewing as 'the latest disappointment and 'delay''.
So anxious to hear the words, Houston, or in this case, Olive, 'It's a go!'
I know God will provide the sustenance you so desperately need right now.
P.S. Negative Nancy shows up on our front door also! She is welcome and we'll shower her with hugs and kisses - :)
Lynette, so sorry and frustrated for you all.
Praying for a miracle and praying for peace for you.
Hang in there...if it isn't today that you 3 are flying home, it will be soon. Just keep your faith and know that there are a lot of people rooting for you guys.
We check your updates daily and continue praying for you. What a frustrating, painful, difficult journey you're on. You're in our thoughts and prayers.
Lynette, it is alright to be negative and tired out. God understands. God will make a way when there seems to be no way was going through my mind all day. I know you are deeply loved by God because I have patients ask me all day about you and crying tears of empathy all day long with us. Wish you could be here to see them cry with you.
Lynette,
I don't know you...I am a good friend of Carly Smith's. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and crying with you as well. I cannot fathom where you are right now...but please know that a prayer warrior is praying on your's and Olive's behalf. God be with you tonight.
Your spiritual sister,
Melanie
I think we all had tears for you guys today!! Praying for a smoother day tomorrow!
i am so sorry. i know how much it meant to have people around me when i was going through this and i can't imagine the pain for you.
I don't know you but came across your blog and wanted you to know that I and my family will be praying for you and your little girl to have strength, love and comfort...... think of the sparrows- like the one you helped a few days before your delivery. I believe all things happen for reasons we don't understand-- only God does and He does it best.....
Perhaps that sparrow was the example that God gives strength when we feel none is left......
praying for you,
m
Through the most difficult times in my life, I have always found that inspiration comes from weird, unforseen places and that's what keeps us going. I hope that something inspiring find its way into your life today. I cannot begin to comprehend what is going on in your life as you are praying for Olive's fragile life and I cannot take away the pain and frustration. I just wanted you to know that so many people care about you and love you, people you have never met but ask about you every day. We are all lifting you up and praying for your safe return home, whenever that may be. I am sorry it couldn't have been today.
Dear Rusty and Lynette,
My heart just hurts for you all as you journey down this uncertain road together. My prayer for you and your entire family is that you feel our God's presence through all those who love you and continue to pray for you. His will and His plans certainly aren't clear nor are they always easy. Just know that you're in many peoples hearts and prayers.
Abbie Huizinga (friend of Ron and Colleen)
We thank God that He is big enough to handle your anger and disappointment. Cry out to Him. We are joining you in pounding on Heaven's door on behalf of Olive.
You don't know me Lynette but I have been following little Olive Hope's journey - sometimes with praise for miracles and sometimes with tears of both sadness and joy. I am humbled that God has allowed me to witness Olive's journey. Do you have any idea how many people worldwide are witnessing what God is doing in Olive's life? She is a miracle and probably the smallest evangelist ever on this earth. She, like Esther, has been placed on earth at this time to fulfill a purpose in God's kingdom. You dear one have the honor and the pain of participating in her fulfillment of God's purpose. I know Jesus is with her and holding her when you are not able to be there. He is whispering to her and assuring her that He has her in his arms. She is never alone. We are mortals and we have doubts sometimes, especially when things get really rough. This qualifies for really rough don't you think. The most important thing here is that you don't stay in that pit but drag yourself back to the surface where you know certain things to be true. Don't let Satan steal your joy or time that you have with Little Olive Hope. When I get really down (or just a little down in the dumps) or disappointed because God does not do what I think He should (like I know best right), I say something I got from a book by Beth Moore. You need to say it aloud because Satan can't read our minds and it is strengthening for you to hear it and important for Satan to hear it. It is: I believe God, I believe God can do what He says He can do, I believe I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, God's word is alive and active in my life, I BELIEVE GOD, I TRUST GOD, I LOVE GOD. I usually follow it by saying the Lord's Prayer out loud as well. I'm sure you realize the difference between believing God and believing in God. I really didn't realize the difference until I read Beth Moore's book and it has changed my life. Sometimes I really don't feel like saying those words because I am disappointed, upset or just plain mad, but I do it and it changes me and the circumstances in which I find myself. If you don't get to bring Olive home, it is because God has a better plan for her and you need to just trust that plan even though it is one of the most difficult things you are asked to do. This entire journey will change your life forever - but remember God knows what you can do and He will give you the strength to meet the challenges new each day - don't look behind and don't look ahead - just take the manna for today and trust that it will be there tomorrow. God loves you Lynette - He has chosen you to be Olive Hope's mother and to be by her side through her journey - He knows you can do it - it will be the biggest blessing of your life. We are all petitioning God continuously on your behalf. Know that, trust that - God's amazing plan is unfolding.
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