Big Changes...

Well, I'm officially 13 weeks pregnant, with a due date of January 1, 2012.  Rusty and I are feeling really excited about this little one, and also have some anxiety at the unknowns. We are seeing a high risk doctor at Bumrungrad International Hospital in Bangkok. The first ultrasound went well, and the next one is scheduled for July 19th. Starting at week 17 through week 36 I will be getting weekly injections of 17P (progesterone) in order to prevent premature labor, as well as getting regular scans of my cervix to assess for any changes. These progesterone injections are the new treatment for preventing premature births, and have had very high success rates for cases where there are no other known complications (infections, premature rupture of membranes, congenital abnormalities, multiples..etc).

The current plan is that at 6 months I will be moving down to Bangkok and staying near the hospital until delivery. Rusty will be going back and forth to visit me throughout the pregnancy. Friends and family at home have been worried that I will be lonely in Bangkok, but I think I will be just fine. I will have plenty of work to do with the child sponsorship program, as well as planning weekly english classes for the volunteers who teach for The Sold Project. Besides this I will have all the wonderful nurses who cared for Olive, and a few other friends I've been wanting to connect more with.

I am also starting my masters degree on July 5th through Frontier School of Midwifery and Family Nursing to become a nurse-midwife. The program will be three years long, since I will be doing it part-time. I'm very excited for this next step, and this has been a dream of mine since even before I started nursing school.  After having Olive I wavered quite a bit between possibly wanting to study to become a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner. However, after lots of thought, I feel like this will be a useful degree that I can use in the States or most anywhere in the world.

Last week Rusty was wanting to go and buy a bed for the baby, and I asked him if we could wait until we had a healthy baby to start buying the bigger things. I remember having to pack up all of Olives things and put them in storage, and am wanting to avoid the possibility of that again. I also don't want to brace myself for the worst case scenario, but also know the reality of it all too well. It seems though, that when I talk with others who are pregnant after losing a baby, these thoughts are very common. 

I am feeling more hopeful this time around. I think through everything I've been through I've learned how to trust my own gut instincts more. I now know what premature labor feels like, and have something to compare it to. And ultimately there is only so much that is in my control. I will do my best to take good care of myself and the baby, and after that whatever circumstances come my way I will get through and Jesus will be right there with me.

My nephew Rushton prayed the other night, "And God, MAKE SURE you take good care of Aunt Lynette's baby this time so that the baby can be healthy and strong."

: >)

"These are little packets of light & you need to plant them early in the year & remember to mark where they were because lots of times they look like weeds in the beginning & it's not until later that you see how beautiful they really are." 
-Brian Andreas

heartbroken.

One of my close friends, lost her daughter Abbot Eily Hope, 12 days ago. She was 38 weeks pregnant, and had a placental abruption (where the placenta separates from the uterus, cutting off the baby's oxygen and blood supply). A beautiful, otherwise healthy little baby girl. I am heartbroken for her, and for the tremendous pain she is sitting in. Wishing I could be closer, just to sit and cry with her.

A few months ago, my best childhood friend lost her son Gabriel James, less than an hour after he was born.

This just isn't how it was supposed to be. Certainly not how we imagined it would be 10 years ago. We connect with each other in a way that we never wanted to. I'm learning in these kinds of relationships how differently we each process our grief, and what helps one of us, certainly wouldn't be helpful to the next. I'm understanding more about how difficult it can be for outsiders too as they try their best to support their loved ones, when each person may need something different.

If you are the praying type, please lift up a prayer for my two friends.