Monday, February 22, 2010

no wonder we miss her.

i counted today that we were in the NICU with Olive every single day, all day, for 120 days after she was born. One of those days I was in Chiang Rai packing up our things while Rusty was with Olive in Bangkok. Before that I carried her inside me for 200 days...No wonder life feels strange without her.

Someone sent us this video about the life of another baby Elliot, born with trisomy 18 who died after 99 days of life here on earth. click HERE to watch the short video that Elliot's father made.

"An underdeveloped lung. A heart with a hole in it. And DNA which placed 
faulty information into every cell in your body could not stop God from 
revealing himself through a child who never uttered a word. Not a pulpit,
not a slick presentation, not a best-selling book, but a six pound boy 
with trisomy 18. God found great pleasure to find a lowly thing in the eyes
of the world and show truth." -Elliot's father

17 comments:

Ashley said...

I can't believe a month has already passed. My heart has felt so grieved for you and your family over these past weeks, and I can only imagine the depth of loss that you are experiencing. Thank you for continuing to post. It means so much. There are times that I approach God at a loss of words over this situation, but even so, I am still praying...

Anonymous said...

That video of Eliot was so touching and so beautiful. He was such an adorable little boy. In my work I hear of so many babies being born with these chromosomal abnormalities, it's sad.

I can barely believe it's been a month since Olive went to Jesus. I still think of your family very often, and I pray that God will give you happiness on this earth with a full term baby.

Marti B.
Grand Rapids, MI

Anonymous said...

Eliot's video has touched my heart just as your sweet olive has. My son's name is Elliott, and to see the love that the father had for his son is amazing.

Please know that you and your family continue to be in my thoughts/prayers.

Lauren
Texas

Carli said...

keep missing her, dear friends

Tom and Stacia said...

I remember I watched this video shortly after Olive was born and practically had to curl up in a fetal position by my computer I was crying so hard. So sweet. I love that quote and of course it captures so much of the impact of Olive's life too. Thinking of you on this one month anniversary of Olive going to be with Jesus. Also, praying for safety as you head out on your trip. Rusty, just wear your seatbelt, okay?
Always the older sister, :-)
Stacia

jen said...

i remember talking to some people at a call interview about stuff with daniel in the nicu and having to explain that it wasn't a fixation -- it was just a normal part of our life for 2 months. i actually still miss the nicu staff even though daniel has been out for almost 9 months(!!!) because they became our family.

those 120 days are a reality for you -- they were as normal as they would have been if she'd been home with you. it was also an adjustment for me when i was suddenly no longer pregnant because it had become such a part of my life.

A Fuller Day said...

Thank you for continuing to share your story. You remain in my prayers as I can imagine you are taking things one day at a time. I actually stood next to my cousin when my uncle died of cancer. Everything surrounding his death and celebrating his life was so overwhelming and amazing, especially for my cousins, younger than me. There was such an outpooring of love and support, but then everyone else went on with their lives, we had to fly home, but my cousins were left with their reality which included going home without a dad. I remember one day on facebook some months later my cousin said as her status "Today I miss you Daddy" I thought to myself that people would read that, pause for a moment and go on with their days, the statuses would continue rolling in, and hers would slowly fade away. But what was a "status update" to her, was her life. She was and still is missing her dad everyday. I can imagine you feel the same way. I just want you to know that I think about you guys and get that you are not just "moving on" right now, but probably trying to figure out how to simply move at all without your baby girl. I know this is nothing profound and that I only really know you guys through Bethany, but sometimes I think it helps to have people acknowledge your reality. All the prayers, support, and encouragement are great. But sometimes i just think it helps to hear people say, I get that this IS what you are going through now as much as I can attempt to comprehend. Much love to both you and Rusty!
Love, Brooke

Anonymous said...

what a beautiful video. I cried when I watched it.... how amazing to grieve by celebrating each day of life granted.... christ-based..... being thankful for that which was given even though Elliot couldn't stay, instead of focussing in on only on the sadness that he had to go.....Olive is/was/always will be your daughter, your gift from God. That you miss her, shows that you ARE her parents.


Keep breathing. Keep living as best as you can. Cry when you need to. Take one moment at a time or one hour, if that's a possibility and do something kind for yourself each day--- because if Olive had grown up,that's what she would want you to do/have-- something special each day... whether it's a bubble bath or a massage or a candlelit supper or some praise and worship music that releases all of the emotions you're feeling and reminds you of our Saviour's faithfulness.... whatever it is that does it for you..... make sure you do it... Olive would do that for you if she could have stayed..

take care you two. You're very special...
Marilyn

Anonymous said...

when I say 'had grown up', I meant only that if she stayed on earth and expressed herself through words......

I don't know how heaven works, but I do hope that you get to see her mature and continually grow there--- but totally healed!

Marilyn

Ren said...

Hi Rusty and Lynette,

There are so many things i would like to say if i had the words, please know that from one broken hearted mother and father to another that i am praying for you, asking God to show himself to you, to carry you. I will keep praying and thinking of you. Eliots video was so beautiful and special. The verse Job 1:21 was one i turned to often. There is a Matt Redman song called 'Blessed be your name' which i used to listen to.

With much love

Karen from England.

Anonymous said...

The video certainly captured the feelings for Olive. You continue to be in our hearts and prayers. MA

Unknown said...

That was a very touching video! So much like little Olives life. She surpassed so many predictions on her life...didn't she? Love you Lynette and Rusty. It was good to talk to you Sunday.

The Johnsons said...

Lynette, you would miss her if you only had 1 day with her! I think about you guys very often and my heart aches with you...Olive made a huge impact on so many people and touched so many lives! Thank you for sharing everything with all of us...morgan

Britton said...

Lynette-
I still think of you three often and will continue to pray that the Lord gives you & rusty strength. You are an inspiration.

Zoƫ said...

What a touching video as was the video you made of your beautiful Olive. We are so sorry for your loss. We are praying for you.
Erik and Zoe from Texas

Carolyn Miller said...

I had my daily cry watching this video.

Natasha said...

I've looked at your blog a few times now and I want you guys to know that you are on my heart. Rusty might remember me, we both grew up in Lynden. I'm pretty sure your Olive and my baby boy Case have met by now. Case died on January 12th of SIDS, he was 5 months old. So many of the feelings you are sharing on your blog, I am feeling too. The poem that you shared, the Grief Dance, is so telling and true. I hope you don't mind if I share it on my blog too. Know that I am praying for you guys. I trust that God gives us all we need to get through, although I know sometimes it doesn't feel that way...