Love from the grandparents

Surgery #2 completed.

Surgery went well. Since surgery at 12:00 p.m., Olive has been sedated with morphine and on the ventilator. She will also be NPO (unable to eat) until tomorrow when she will also possibly come off the ventilator. One concern is that she hasn't urinated since the surgery, but they are saying this can be a side effect of coming off of general anesthesia and are monitoring this closely.

One really lovely part of this day was that the nurse was able to get an IV in Olive this morning on her first try...it's been months since that has happened.

During surgery they took a sample of CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) fluid and sent it to a lab to look for any signs of infection. If she were to have an infection everything will have to be removed (including the broken part of the shunt that is currently left inside her brain). We would have to move to Riley's Children's Hospital in Indianapolis if this ends up being the case.  Please pray against any infection.

We are realizing that if we focus on the what ifs...and all the unknowns of the future we will drive ourselves mad. Trying not to worry about tomorrow because it will have enough worries of its own.

One step at a time...one day at a time...or lately its been more like one hour at a time.

Here are some pre-surgery photos from this morning...

and one post-op photo from tonight...

A broken shunt.

This morning after Olive had her CT scan the neurosurgeon was able to see that her shunt has broken apart. They aren't exactly sure why this happened, except that it is a mechanical problem. It has three pieces...the valve behind her ear, one tube attached to the valve that goes into the ventricle in her brain, and one tube from the valve that goes all the way down to her abdomen. The tube that has detached is the one going into the ventricle in her brain.

Tomorrow (we aren't sure yet what time) she will be put on general anesthesia once again, back on a ventilator, and they will go in and fix the broken parts. This is not a common problem for shunts, but one of the complications that can take place. The neurosurgeon seemed pretty disappointed and told us that this hasn't happened for him in years.

I think the doctors may have been surprised by my apathetic response when they told me the bad news, but these days it is starting to feel like if there is a risk of something going wrong, then most likely it will.

One of the challenges with this will be keeping an IV in her for the next three days to give her antibiotics to prevent infection. Infection is another complication with this surgery, in which case they would have to remove all of the peices and start over once again if that happens.

Surgery for her reflux problem is still being considered, but not confirmed yet if we will need to do it. Being discharged this week is obviously not going to be happening after-all, which feels more comforting than anything based on the circumstances.

We are feeling pretty weary. Wondering if our prayers are going anywhere these days... wondering what Jesus is trying to teach us through this foggy time where the future is so unclear. Despite the circumstances we are still grateful to be here. The nurses have been so sensitive and kind throughout all of these recent roller-coasters. It's been a huge blessing to be under the care of a doctor who shares in our same faith and who cares deeply about Olive.

We still have each other, we still have Olive, a warm comfortable bed to sleep in, food on the table, and so many friends and family and strangers holding us up. We still have much to be grateful for, and I hope I never forget that--even when our questions continue to go unanswered.

Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

Sandra McCracken sings this hymn, and it has been on my mind all day.

Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

1. Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee, when sorrows rise
On Thee, when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel

2. But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God, where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust

3. Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner's prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there

4. Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet,
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet