some days feel easier than others.
today is a hard day.

so much to do.
so hard to focus.
all i can think about is you.
i feel like a mess.
scattered thoughts.
confused.
sad.
tired.
missing you so much today.

this pile of sponsorship letters is not getting any smaller
and yet i can't seem to find motivation.

i want to become a better person because of you.
but today i just feel tired and sad.

we need to go and order your gravestone
but i don't want to go there.
the feelings it will bring up in me are too intense.
i'm already falling apart.

we are going to order our grave plots too,
to make sure our bodies will be laid next to yours.
never thought I would be buying my grave plot at 28.
but life is unpredictable and we never know
what tomorrow will bring us.

i miss you.
i love you.
and i will never get over you.