Grandpa Henry

My grandpa Henry passed away on Friday. As much as I want to be there for the funeral, it's just not possible at this stage in the pregnancy. Thankfully I was able to skype with him in the last week, and at least tell him I love him.

I can't imagine going to my grandparent's house and only having my sweet grandma Polly there. Even though he had around 20 grandkids (40 counting in-laws), he always made each of us feel special and loved. Grandpa always referred to me as "Lin-eh" and would kiss me on the cheek with his scruffy skin.

Ever since I can remember at family reunions grandpa would always at some point make a speech about how he didn't think he would be there for the next reunion because he thinks this year he is going to "join the Lord in Glory." And every year I would smile to myself thinking, "yeah right grandpa, you've been saying that for years."

I feel mixed on grandpa's death. On one hand I'm excited for him to finally be in a place he has been anxiously anticipating for so long, and on the other I'm just so sad for my sweet grandma who will now be transitioning to life without him after 66 years together. 

no more bedrest :>)

We are breathing sighs of relief and gratefulness over here after making it so far in the pregnancy.  I had my 36 week appointment this past Tuesday, gave myself a final IM injection of progesterone, and was released from bed rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The pregnant waddling has begun, but there will be no complaining on this end. Rusty and I went out for dinner for our first time in 3.5 months and even enjoyed hour long foot massages for $7.

I've finished up my school work for this term and am trying to get some final projects for the Akha Youth Development Center finished before this little one joins us.

My grandfather Henry (mother's father) is in his final hours. He was diagnosed with lymphoma a few month ago. Wishing I could be closer right now, but thankful that he is surrounded by so much love and receiving such good care from the hospice nurses, my mom, aunts, and uncles.  I was able to skype with him a few days ago and tell him I loved him. I also asked him to give Olive a kiss from me when He sees her.

Hope you are enjoying this Christmas season. Here's the latest photo of the giant belly.

Christmas Gift Ideas the Make a Difference.

If you are looking for ideas of gifts to buy that give back to a good cause, here are a few non-profits who have some pretty beautiful stuff.


Peace Photography: A collection of hundreds of photos from more than a dozen countries and four continents, being sold to support and promote several small independent non-profit organizations around the world.  digital images, prints, notecards, books, and calendars may all be purchased online through our website.  100% of the profits are given directly to these partner organizations (The Akha Youth Development Center, where we work in Chiang Rai, is one of their partner organizations). 


Sari Bari: Sari Bari is a safe place of employment where Indian women who have been exploited in the sex trade or who are vulnerable to trafficking can experience a new life in the making. They sell beautiful quilts, bags, blankets, pillow cases made from saris. 


Noonday Collection: Providing jobs that create a pathway out of poverty for Ugandan women. 


Tukula: A cause-driven business decicated to investing in Ugandan entrepeneourship through market awareness, product-development, and saving programs. 


Ten Thousand Villages: An exceptional source for unique handmade gifts, jewelry, home decor, art and sculpture, textiles, serveware and personal accessories representing the diverse cultures of artisans in Asia, Africa, Latin America and the Middle East. One of the world's largest fair trade organizations and a founding member of the World Fair Trade Organization (WFTO),the company strives to improve the livelihood of tens of thousands of disadvantaged artisans in 38 countries.

firstborn.

Tonight I was realizing that throughout this pregnancy I've carefully protected myself from thinking about Olive too much. I think some of that had to do with all the fears inside of me of imagining the possibilities of walking through similar circumstances with this little one. Now that I'm nearing 36 weeks I've started to let myself think of her more and return to memories.

Tonight I was watching another video of some of the kids where we live and up popped Olive's video from her memorial service that I haven't watched in over nine months. I had one of those cries that feels like you can't breathe...the kind that you've pent up for a long time. I miss her so much tonight. Watching videos of her makes it all feel so real and fresh even with the time between that has passed. And I'm thankful for that too... I'm thankful not to be numb to it all, and to have photos, videos, and stories written down to help me remember her.

It's true that grief comes and goes like waves through different seasons. Sometimes those waves are gentle and other times crashing. And though grief changes and shifts it never completely goes away...which is okay. Maybe it just means that the person we loved meant too much to us to ever completely let them go.

Sweet little Olive Hope. Her little life taught me how much capacity I have to love someone...and knowing her makes me even more ready to meet his little one growing inside me.